Life's a beach!

Just getting settled in from a "turtley awesome" vacation! 🐢 After a pretty tumultuous year concerning Gary's job situation and adjusting to working myself, boy was I happy to get to go on an actual vacation!! 🌺🌴🌊⛅

We decided to go visit the coast of Texas! Corpus Christi, Port Aransas, Rockport and even drove up to Victoria for the day. We stayed at the Holiday Inn Express in Rockport. The girls were thrilled because it was on the top floor and from our room, you could see the ocean. What a climate change though! A friend of mine had told me prior to us visiting down there not to even worry about my makeup or my hair because it'd do no good! And when I got out of the truck to go check into the hotel, my glasses immediately fogged up and the air was THICK with moisture and humidity!! I could just feel my makeup melting off my face lol! So needless to say, my makeup stayed in its bag the rest of the trip and my naturally curly hair loved having a break from being straightened! 💁

One thing I noticed was that down there, there is a Whataburger every couple of miles! Heaven! 🍔🍟🙏

Our first day, we ate breakfast at the hotel and then we went to Corpus and went to the Texas State Aquarium. That's a pretty neat little place and had an awesome up-close dolphin show that the girls loved. After that, we walked over to the USS Lexington. It is a World War II-era aircraft carrier which has now been turned into a naval museum. You could go inside and look around at the different planes used in WWII and ammunition and such. I, personally, thought it was interesting BUT I love history. The girls...not so much. For one, they were tired and hungry and HOT, and walking around a massive ship, looking at planes and stuff, that wasn't appealing to them. But they did pretty good.  They liked the view of the water and could see a lot of jellyfish below us. Before we left there, we stopped in the gift shop and we got the girls personalized dog tags. Great keepsake!

When we left there, we went to a little beachside restaurant called Blackbeards. It doesn't look appealing as its kinda run-down and very purple! But the atmosphere was very laid back and I thought the food was delicious!! I'd definitely visit there again! 

The second day, after eating breakfast at Ken's Diner (delicious) we went to the beach!! What the girls had been waiting for every since we told them we were going down there! So, we rode the ferry over to Port Aransas. Lanie thought that was neat, getting to drive your car onto a boat and riding it. The ferry line wasn't that long and the ride itself was probably three minutes. Once we got on the island, we went to a place called Bron's and we rented a golf cart! The island allows people to rent golf carts and ride around the town and the beach on. I think this was Gary's favorite part of the trip, getting to drive that little thing all over the place. We rode up and down the shoreline first. Before we went to Port A, I had bought a loaf of bread and decided I'd feed the seagulls while Gary was driving. Those birds are ferocious! They swooped in immediately to get the bread I was throwing, and the girls, who were riding in the back, FACING them, got scared because there was a huge flock of them! Lanie started to cry and this made me laugh. The louder she wailed, the harder I laughed. It was hilarious. Finally, we got out and we swam in the ocean and we built a little sandcastle. :) After some beach play, we drove back into town and ate at a place called Moby Dicks. Totally awesome place but wasn't too crazy about the food. But I think it's because I got fish, thinking it'd be like Long John Silvers but instead, it was actual fried fish 😳 Like, shaped like a fish and everything. 🐟 It tasted "okay" but not my thing. Lol! We then went back to the beach and we let Kaci drive the golf cart! She did a great job, but as I was observing from the backseat and hearing Gary say things like, "straighten up the wheel, keep to the right, slow down!" it made me realize in just a short while, my little girl will be actually driving!! Time soooo flies. We also let Lanie "drive"..(she sat in my lap and "steered") It was so fun.I'm surprised the girls didn't pass out on the ride back to the hotel from our exhausting day, but instead they stayed awake and wanted to swim at the pool once we returned! Wish I could siphon their energy sometimes!

Our last full day of vacation, we ate breakfast at a little cafe called JJ's Little Cafe and it was great! I love breakfast at places like that! 🍳🍴We were going to go to the Sea Turtle Farm but found out it was in South Padre Island...like wayyyy at the bottom and would be about a 6-hour drive, so we didn't go. Instead, we drove to Victoria just to go to the mall and take the girls to see Despicable Me 2. It was really fun. While at the mall, we went to James Avery and Gary bought me a charm for my charm bracelet. It's of a sandcastle. 😊 I love it!! My charms all have a little story behind them and its one of my most cherished possessions! 

Today, on our way home, we took the girls to eat at the ORIGINAL Whataburger, which is a two story establishment and the girls (and I) thought it was neat! It was right by the ocean!! After that, I took Lanie to a souvenir shop so she could get seashells for some people. For July 4th this year, we got to spend it at the lake with my awesome family!! We stayed with my aunt and uncle and cousins, popped fireworks, rode the boat, ate great homecooked food and just relaxed. It was great! Well, while we were there, Lanie collected nasty clam shell looking shells from the bottom of the lake and wanted to take them home. Like 20 of them! Lol! I told her to leave them at the lake and once we went to the beach, I'd make sure she got some actual pretty shells. And she did. 😊

We made it home safely and we had an amaaaazing time. My friends who have visited that area before helped me with places to go and places to eat and I appreciate that so much! Our last 9 days have been absolutely wonderful and unforgettable. I wish every month we could go to the lake and then to the beach and be with family and friends. That would be paradise to me. ❤ I'm so thankful for my family, friends, and the memories we've made!! Glad to be home in my bed though! 😴 G'night!!

Slacking again

So it's been two months since my last post! I'm doing well and enjoying my summer off! Sleeping a lot and having busy moments too. So far this summer, the girls and I have been swimming quite a bit! 

This was in Balmorhea, Texas. The girls had never been there before, and the last time I went was when I was little. It's a natural spring pool with some man-made additions to it. It has moss/algae in it but the water is crystal clear. And COLD! 

I have to say that the cold water is torture on my scar. I guess it's the nerve endings or scar tissue (are those the same things? Lol), but I can't just wade out into a pool of cold water. The super cold water creeping up on my scar at the bottom of my back is KILLER. I don't know how to explain it. So, when I swim, if the water is super cold, I have to either stay where the water is below my waist, OR I have to just dunk myself or jump right in wholly! It has to be sudden or else I can't stand it. Here's a pic of me trying to adjust to the water:

But look at that pretty water! 😊

We went to Balmorhea again today with my Aunt Kim and Aunt Beverly, my cousins Amanda and Shelby, and my Mom, and all 7 of our kids: Kaci, Lanie, Jake, Brody, Bailey, Syrena and Marley! We took coolers full of sandwiches and snacks and drinks and we stayed for about 5 hours. It's about 1 hr 45 min from Odessa and so we definitely made the most out of the trip. I enjoyed getting to chat with Amanda the whole way there and back. Amanda is my cousin closest to my age and she's also the one who is a teacher at the school I work at, who helped put in the word for me to be hired! :) Love her lots! 

Anyways, guess I'm gonna sign off now and go to bed! I am swimmed out! 😘😘

Pretty memorable Memorial Day!

Well, my three day weekend came to a close and it was pretty relaxing but busy day! I stayed up kinda late last night reading, and when I woke up 6 hours later, I cleaned the house a bit and then the girls and I went to the water park with my mom! It was very crowded but we had a good time!

I plan on spending A LOT of time at the water park this summer! May even freeze my tanning membership for the summer and just get some rays the natural way! :)

After the water park, we rushed home and got ready and went out to my cousins house for her daughters birthday party. My cousin, Amanda, is who got me my job at the school, and she and I are pretty close. Her daughter turned 3 today! It was nice, like always, to get to be with my family. We all get along so well and truly love each other and are pretty tight knit. I'm so thankful that we see each other often, and are so close. Here is a picture of Kaci with one of my other cousins daughter, Bailey! 

Well, closing off and going to bed. Ready for our final countdown of school days! 8 days!!! Gonna be BUSY and GREAT!! :) 

My life is so different now!

So here I am, writing in my old blog, inspired to write again because I saw a coworkers daughter write in her own blog! 

That's right, a COWORKER! Ha! I have a full time job now! So many things have changed since I've last written. I am now 32 years old, I was 27 when I started this blog. My husband and I have been married nearly 13 years now and our children are now almost 11 and 6! 

Here they are! This was taken for Career Day at school. Lanie wants to be a 'grocery store girl', which is funny because she comes from a family of grocers. :) Kaci wants to be a teacher!

As mentioned, I now have a full time job. I work for the school district as a Pre-K aide! I work at the same school that my kids go to, Hays Magnet Academy. What an adventure that has been but I love it!

Here is a picture of SOME of the awesome people I work with:

If I had a staff group picture handy, I'd post that, because I truly work with some amazing people, and I want to show them all off. I have made many new friendships and met so many parents whom have grown to love me as I love their children :) 

I work the same schedule as my kids - we go to work/school together and go home together. I get to see them every single day, all throughout the day. I get to eat lunch with my oldest everyday as well, something I know she will look back on and cherish. 

Another positive report: WEIGHT LOSS!! Woot! Since January of 2012, I have lost about 38 pounds!! BIG accomplishment for me, although I didn't really TRY to do it, it just kinda happened. Then once I started working and wasnt at home all the time anymore, the weight continued to come off. I am now the smallest I've been since I was in high school! Add to that the nice and straight figure I received from my scoliosis surgery and VOILA! Great combination! I wear sundresses now and more form fitting clothing and I am so proud of my figure! Having an hourglass figure is a lot better for my psyche than being all crooked, BUT I wish I had learned to love myself even when I was severely crooked, because it doesn't matter what you look like, God made you the way you are for a reason! So no matter what kinda curves you have, ROCK THEM!! 

Here is a picture of me since the weight loss:

Woot! 

Working has been a challenge for me though, some days being better than others. I still hurt, daily, never ceasing. But thankfully, I've taken advantage of seeing a pain management doctor on a monthly basis and the meds help me get through the day. For a while, I stopped seeing a pain management doctor because I had a myriad of feelings about seeing a pain doctor. I worried what others would think of me for taking so many pills, I worried about the stigma of "pain pill abusers", I told myself I didn't need them. But when I'd go to bed crying because I was hurting, I'd kick myself for letting negative thoughts stop me from doing something I truly needed in order to have a quality life.  So off to the pain doctor I went!

Some people might think that having this surgery would alleviate or greatly reduce the pain I once knew prior to the surgery. But that's not true. The surgery straightened my spine and stopped it from progressing. I knew going into the surgery that I would never be pain free. If you are reading this now, and contemplating having a scoliosis fusion surgery with the thought that the pain will disappear, you will be disappointed. You basically trade one pain in for another. BUT, GOOD NEWS!! The pain is SOOOO much more manageable. The use of exercises, stretches, heat/cold therapy and medicine can do tremendous things. I WOULD HAVE MY SURGERY AGAIN IN A HEARTBEAT. That is how GRATEFUL I am that I had it. Yes, my days are sometimes hard, I can't do all the things I'd like to do, I have to watch myself and not over-do things, but I am PROUD of my full metal spine! In fact, I made this picture just today: 

I do have a super spine now!! :)

What I usually do on a work day, is I take a dose of medicine on my way to work, usually another dose at lunchtime and then once I get home, I take more plus rest on my heating pad. This keeps the pain at bay and makes my day more functional. Once I've rested a bit after work, I'm good to do a little housework or errands or whatever. My husband and my girls are also a big help sometimes! I usually do not take pain meds on weekends or when I am off work, unless I do a lot of housework or errands. I just have to listen to my body, and take medicine when I know I will regret it if I don't. 

So taking pain medicine responsibly doesn't make you an abuser. I've learned that. But, funny story...one day I was standing at the kitchen counter and about to take some medicine and as I put the medicine in my mouth, my daughter comes up and says, "Mom, what's a pill popper?" Lol! She's heard me refer to myself as that and don't kids just have the best timing for asking questions such as that?? Hahaha!

I know I've said this before in past posts, BUT, I AM going to start writing in thus blog more often! June is Scoliosis Awareness Month and I am hoping to get the word out about my blog for other Scoliosis Friends or someone who may be facing this process with a loved one, or themselves. I am ALWAYS willing to talk about my experience and daily life with scoliosis and with a fusion, so please, if you are reading this and are dealing with this in any way, I'd love to hear from you. But please note, I am just an average and everyday person, by no means a medical expert in any way, so while I can talk about my own experiences and offer encouragement, you should always seek the professional advice of a doctor who practices orthopedic spinal surgery! That being said, please contact me at my email, mobley_925@yahoo.com! I look forward to hearing from you! I must go to bed now but will write more tomorrow!! Goodnight!! 

Oh the weather outside was frightful...and other stuff...

Well...my area of the deserts of West Texas has gotten record snowfall here! We had a white Christmas for the first time since 1997, and then two days ago, we had a winter snow storm blow in and WOW! And people here aren't accustomed to snow and so you can imagine all the wrecks that happened! I worked the day that it started to snow, but I stayed home the rest of the day! I kept my oldest daughter home from school and of course, they played out in it for about 30 minutes and then came in and asked for hot chocolate, which I made, but they forgot about - haha!

And here is a picture I took while we were picking our daughter up early before the snow got really bad!

Imagine all this after the summer we had! We had a brutally dry and hot summer, and all these scary grass fires, and put on water restrictions and then a few months later, we get buried in snow! That's crazy Texas weather for you! I don't know how the Northerners deal with heavy snow all the time, but I am tired of it! :)

Today also marks 3 years since I left Odessa to head to Dallas for my surgery. My surgery was on the 15th, but I had to go a little early to do some last minute pre-op procedures. It was definitely a memorable trip down there and I think about it a lot, but especially every January 10th that comes and goes. I remember on the way to Dallas, I called and texted people to tell them I loved them just in case something happened. I remember pulling away from my Nana's house where I had just dropped off my girls, when I had to say goodbye to them - THAT was SOOOO hard. I was very confident in my surgery to come, but you still never know when something could happen. Leaving them there was the hardest thing ever...But thats all history and here I am today!

I know so many people have surgeries and its no biggie...but when you have a surgery of this magnitude, a lot of emotions come with it. Psychologically scars you in good ways, and some bad. Kinda like our lives were split with 9/11...."Oh this happened to me before 9/11, this happened a couple years after 9/11", same thing here. There was life before my surgery and after my surgery. Crazy!

My 3 year anniversary is 5 days away...

New Year

6 days into the new year, and nothing horrible has happened, so maybe that means that this will be a good year! 2011 wasn't too shabby either! (:

I got an email yesterday from someone who also had my surgeon, Dr. Shelokov, that changed her life as well. I can't tell you how much I enjoy hearing from people who was one of his patients, or just dealing with scoliosis, surgery or not! I lived with a crooked spine for nearly 16 years and it wasn't fun. So I can relate to non-surgery patients, and ones who have had the surgery. So if you're reading this, please don't hesitate to contact me, all the info is in my profile!!

I am still loving my job as a Mothers Day Out teacher. I work with the older two's, they love me and I love them! And I love the ladies I work with. Very blessed in that aspect!

Our Christmas was great, and my girls made a killing with all the stuff they got! Even did something different than the other 30 Christmases I've had. Since I've been born, we always stayed the night at my Nana's on Christmas Eve. Well my oldest daughter wanted to stay at our home for Christmas. I think she will find out the truth about Santa soon, and I wanted her to have at least one experience with Santa coming here rather than going to Nana's. But deep down, I was sad and knew I would feel out of place being at home. And plus, my husband was working overnight, and it was just my kids and I! So we decided we would spend the evening over at her house and come home at bedtime. But the night before Christmas Eve, it snowed, A LOT, like 5 inches. Well, we in the desert are not accustomed to driving in snow, and I am terrified of driving in it, especially since I've had my back operated on. Its not so much MY driving, its other people I worry about. So then I was thinking we couldn't go to Nana's at all that night. But I started crying just thinking about not seeing my grandparents on Christmas Eve and so my mom came and got me and drove us! It was fun...then we went home.

Every other Christmas, we had to actually wake the kids up to come and see what Santa had brought them! Well since we were at home, they were too excited and woke us up at 4:45!!!! But admittedly, it was nice spending Christmas morning at our home. We then got ready and drove to Nana's to see the rest of the family. I love my family so much and am soooooo blessed to have them!!!

This year, and from now on, I have decided to stop being around people who bring me down, are drama queens, who rob me of my joy...I am too good for that! I am starting to finally come to grips with the fact that I can't please everyone, and to stop apologizing so much! I say I am sorry all the time about things, and I also am constantly asking others if they are mad at me. I hate for people to be mad at me!! I always try to treat others like I want to be treated, but have now realized, some people just don't care how they treat you or the ones that you love.

Anyways, just wanted to write some, and also another resolution, I am gonna start writing in here more! (: Have a blessed day!!

Depression

I don't have anything specific to write about, no special witty comments or anything.

I haven't written because I fell into a deep depression. Yes, I suffer from clinical depression. I have to take medicine for it, or else it gets really bad. I have been going to these doctors who are just general MDs and they wouldn't take me or my symptoms seriously, so I started seeing an actual therapist.

The medicine I am currently taking just doesn't seem to be working like it used to, and so the doctor gave me another antidepressant to take along with it, and so far so good. I hate being reliant on medicine, but such is life.

Clinical depression runs in my family. Its not the same as just feeling blue for a day or two. This last bout, I had gotten to where I didn't want to see anyone, go anywhere, do anything. I wasn't suicidal, but I would go to bed wishing I just wouldn't wake up the next morning. I hate feeling that way. And you can't just "snap out of it", like some people like to say when they hear someone is depressed.

I, and millions of others, need medication for the actual chemical imbalance in our brains. Depression is a silent disease and needs treated just like a diabetic needs insulin.

Today was ok though..

Here is the church, here is the steeple...

I have been doing so good about getting up on time and having fairly productive days (as much as a stay at home mom can have) but I get hit everyday around 4PM with pure sleepiness. But I can't take a nap because:
1.) My schedule would be thrown off and,
B.) The little people insist I take care of their every needs.
Anyways, today I have been going since 6:30 and around 6:00 PM, I was sitting here paying bills online and balancing my non-existent money, and I knew church was about to start in an hour, but the girls had already changed clothes and their hair was falling out of their ponytails and I was like, "Ugh - do NOT feel like messing with them", but at 6:30, I told them to get ready because we were gonna go to church!
I have so many times on Sundays and Wednesdays where I do not feel like going to church. Who doesn't want to sleep in on Sunday mornings? But 9 times out of 10, when I go, I am so happy I went.
Today was one of those days...
One of my favorite things - and proof that Jesus still works in everyday life today - is when I will be in a crabby patty mood on a Sunday morning, not wanting to go to church, but then I go and my mood just lifts and I am happy and just glad I went to church. I love that.
Well, a new class was started for young adults at our church. I was apprehensive about going. I have never really fit in at church. As a child, I was too quiet. As a teen, I was not cool enough. As an adult, life kept getting in the way and I didn't always go to church like I should, so therefore I wasn't plugged in or contributing to the church at all. UGH! I really like this class though, and I like what it represents, and getting to know the people in there has been fun too.
This might actually work!
Matt and Kylie New came up with this awesome idea and I hope to see it take off and make an impact on so many people. I admire people who come up with things like this. I am more of a follower, not a leader. So yeah...
I've already been inviting people to come with me :) This means you too, whoever is reading this, if you live here in my area ;)
God is good, all the time, and I am so thankful for being His child.
Ok well I am going to bed now, haha!

I just realized...

That the post I just made, is similar to the one I made in March - haha...That's what happens when you don't keep up with stuff! So yeah, sorry about the repeat info :))

I am so bad...

Yes I am still here and I re-read a lot of my posts from time to time, but I haven't posted like I should.

So many things have gone on since the surgery and WOW! I'd like to think that I am a much stronger person than I've ever been, but I would like to erase a lot of the last few years and have a DO-OVER!! But that doesn't happen in life so yeah...

I am just gonna put it all out there. My husband and I seperated, twice, in 2010. What a tremendously difficult time for me, my girls and Gary. I feel a lot of guilt over how crappy things got and what things were said and done. We reconciled and separating is not an option, ever agan. We are in a better place now, and stronger than ever.

I held so much resentment inside because of so many things that weren't even Gary's fault. My crooked spine, my chronic pain, my hearing loss, my low self esteem. I hated feeling like a freak, looking like one, crying because of the pain, and on and on. So my expectations of Gary were WAY high. I know that now, looking back. Granted, and he will admit, that he did a lot of wrong too. But we were never in sync with each other. Now I am happy to say that we are finally on the same page whereas before, we weren't even in the same book!

I went for my 2 year check up in March. Had a fun little trip to Plano, just Gary and I. My check-up went great, the fusion has totally healed, I am still properly screwed ;)I go back in 2012 (which is right around the corner now!) for my three year check-up. So all is well!

As for pain, well, I still have it. I knew going in that I was NOT going to be pain free after the surgery, ever. So I am not like surprised at all. I just write about it in case someone else feels the pain too! The pain I feel now is in my lower back, the discs that weren't fused. But luckily, this pain is MUCH more manageable. I can take regular OTC ibuprofen, rest a little, and I am good. I do have to be careful and not overdo things. Because that does make my back hurt, and at night when I am laying in bed, my entire spine just throbs. With each throbbing pulsing feeling, its like my back is saying, "Shouldn't have done this, that and the other!" Haha..So yeah. I still say today, that if I had to do it over again, I would. That's how happy I am that I did it.

Another positive point is that since I can't bend my spine, I can't paint my toenails, therefore, I have the perfect excuse to get my toes done at a nail salon! :)

I am about to start working again at Mothers Day Out with some incredible ladies and awesome kiddos! I am so excited about that.

Hmm..what else? Oh yes. We added to the family. A four legged baby we named Molly. We adopted her from the SPCA. She had been rescued from an animal hoarder, who had 20 other dogs in a little abandoned trailer. She is a blonde haired, Poodle/Cocker Spaniel mix...don't know what Gary was thinking getting another blonde haired girl ;) Anyways, we love her and she is a very good dog!
Life is going good because God is always good <3

I'm still alive and kickin'!

Its been nearly a year and a half since I have updated my blog! I feel so bad about that!
There have been so many changes that have happened in my life, some good, some not so good, but the good news is: I AM SO HAPPY WITH MY LIFE AS OF NOW!
My husband and I endured two separations during the last two years. Those were awful, emotionally trying times...but we made it through, and are stronger than ever.
My girls are growing like a weed. Kaci is going to be NINE in June, and Miss Lanie just turned 4 in December.
I just went to my two year post-op check-up for my back surgery, and everything looks wonderful. My fusion has totally healed and everything is as it should be! That is great news for me :]
Its getting to get warmer outside and that means that I get to wear tank tops and cute shirts that show my scar off!
My daughters love for Justin Bieber has rubbed off on me and I catch myself listening to him even when she isn't with me hahahaha :] I also recently got a new tattoo on my foot. Its of flowers. April, September and Decembers flowers (representing our birthdays and our anniversary)...I got it on top of my foot and oh my goodness! It hurt WAYYY bad! But I am soooo happy that I did it!
No more tattooes after that fiasco lol.
Gary is working as a driller still, but his rig is close to the house so that he can be home more often. That was a lot of our issues, him being gone all the time.
My back pain is still pretty minimal if you compare it to my pre-surgery days. I have good days and bad days, mostly good days. The bad days are just results of me over-exerting myself on house chores or something.
Anyways, I am gonna sign off now...gonna try to keep this blog up from now on...

Workin' woman!

I noticed I am averaging about one post a month now! I need to get on the ball!

I have been a little busy bee lately. For starters, I work at a church at their Mothers Day Out as a teacher on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Then, recently, I began babysitting a WONDERFUL little boy on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays! He goes to Mothers Day Out, and I am helping his parents out, and so he also goes to work with me on the days I go to work. Then I took on this job at the church nursery, which is approximately 10 hours a week...so for sure Sundays, and Wednesday nights, and then on Mondays when they have Ladies Bible study. And whenever else they need me, I guess. So I just realized that Saturday will be my only day to stay at home!

But I am sooooo happy that I am getting to do all this, and be involved with other people and actually feel like I am doing something, rather than sitting at home with a bad back and in pain all the time.

Since I have stopped taking all medication, I have finally gotten to the point where I fall asleep at night because I am actually tired and not because I had to take some pill to get me all loopy! This feels great!! And no wonder I am tired! :0)

Anyways, just wanted to share what was going on in my little neck of the woods ;)

Awesome day!

I was supposed to go to my pain management doctor today for another check-up and to see about getting my meds and all that, but guess what?? I feel GREAT and don't even need to go to him! Let me tell you, I am so sick of taking pills and am doing so great that I don't need any medicine other than the occasional Ibuprofen or something. And coming from 16 years of hurting, that is a huge deal to me.

In my last post I had talked about my upper neck/shoulder area hurting..especially after working. Well...Lanie got moved into the 3 year olds room, and so I don't have her in my class, umm, bugging the crap out of me! While she was in my class, she didn't understand that I was the teacher...to her I was her MOMMY! She could have/do/say whatever she wanted. She wanted juice, I should give it to her, just like I do at home...anyways, so it was kinda hard. And she wouldn't listen to the other teacher, because her MOMMY was in there! And we know how kids act when their parents are around lol. At lunch, she'd be asking for bites of my lunch, then the other kids would want bites of my lunch..it was like being surrounded by little baby seagulls and I was a piece of bread lol. So anyways, she moves to the other room, and I get through the whole day without hurting AT ALL...Just an occasional ache here and there, but not the burning sensation I was having. My side doesn't even hurt anymore...I am soooooo happy about all this.

Again, I have to say that I am so glad that there are people who are reading this blog! I met an awesome woman who is about to have the big surgery in November. Her daughter had found my blog and we started emailing back and forth. I met her the other evening to just talk about the surgery and the recovery and all of that. I showed her the Medieval looking brace, showed her how to wear it...I imagine people were driving by wondering what we were doing lol. We had a very good talk and I showed her pictures and tried to answer any questions she had, we laughed, we even cried a little. I remember what its like to be so close to having this surgery, the emotions you feel and stuff, and my heart just goes out to her. She is not scared, she is ready, which is AWESOME! Thats how I was too towards the end. I wish her the absolute best!!

Well, I need to get off here and get some housework done...adios!!

Something cool I found out!

Two things I found out, but one of them I can't speak of until she decides to tell the rest of the world. Meg. Hahahaha...I'll write about her little revelation later on :]

But the other is that my mother took a new job at this place called Maximus, apparently they handle Medicaid and other state programs...anyways, she said there was a guy at work with her that had a scar all the way up into the back of his head, down his neck, and pretty sure down into his back too. Well, curiosity got the best of her, and she asked him about it. (So nosey! lol)

He went on to tell her that he had what most people call a "humpback/hunchback"...which is technically called Kyphosis...and she told him about how I had scoliosis surgery, that I had it really bad, and that they totally fixed it...then started talking about how my surgeon had passed away back in August :[ And he said something like, "Dr. Shelokov??" (I wasn't there for this convo lol) and she said "Yes!"...he said that was HIS surgeon also!! He had the operation back in 1999-2001(?) Isn't that awesome? Dr. S's patients are just scattered all over the place. But he is the 4th in this area that I have heard about...I am sure there are more, but I haven't learned about them! Anyways, I just think its totally cool, and she told him about my blog, but since my Mom is kinda technically challenged (love you mom!!) she told him my blog was lifeiscrooked.com. Hahaha. Well, she came pretty close, so maybe he will find it if he looks for it. Adam, if you are reading this, then HELLO! And I would love to meet you!!

I am still doing totally awesome as far as pain...it just seems to get a little less every single day. As long as I don't act like SuperWoman and try and get 1,845,924 things done in one day. The annoying pain in my side is easing up too! Its so encouraging to me! The only issue I really deal with now is that pain on top of my fusion, feels like tension, not sure what it is, but its like a bad burning and tight sensation and it just SUCKS! And like I said before, my back where the actual fusion took place is not hurting at all, just tender from the surgery...and I was wondering the other night..."What if it doesn't hurt because uhhhhh its still NUMB??"...if my back 'wakes up' and stuff, and hurts, then what? But I am thinking it would have started hurting before now. And a lot of it before was pain AND the feeling like I was totally scrunched up. I don't know...I am just rambling now. [What the blogs for, right?? :)] So anyways, now I am all excited about the pain being gone, the side pain being gone, but now have this upper shoulder region pain. I have an appointment with my pain doctor in October, so I shall ask him about that.

I was already gonna tell him that I really only need pain meds on the days that I work because of all the bending over and stuff, the end of the 6 hours, I am hurting pretty bad. I am off the muscle relaxers and the Ambien...so maybe he can work out yet another regimen with me as far as medicating me! :]

Oh and I am also happy that I am almost done with my Bone Growth Stimulator...December 15th will be my very last day to wear that thing! One month prior to my one year anniversary!

Also, the weather changing and stuff, is taking me to this time last year. As I was getting closer to the surgery, and doing all the pre-op procedures to get ready for this, I don't know...it just kinda makes me sad and I don't know why. The people who know my whole story might understand what I am talking about...I was in a very bad marriage, on top of dealing with getting ready for this surgery, I went through HELL to get to January 15, 2009 and its like I am reliving it all in my mind. I have been having nightmares of having to have the surgery again, or weird stuff like that. My mom got my hospital pictures developed and when I looked at them, although I am happy I had the surgery, looking at the pictures makes me feel...I don't know the right word for it...melancholy?

I am coming close to the anniversary of when I had my first pre-op procedure done (in November)...a discogram, which was not fun, it was scary and I hated every minute of it. Just things like that. Am I weird for feeling like this?

Well...I gots to go...will write again soon!

8 months ago today...

I was lying in my hospital bed, barely 12 hours outta surgery...my hand faithfully clutching my Morphine pump...hahaha. I really, really can't believe its already been 8 months. I remember my friend Meg coming to my hotel room the night before my surgery, and I was thinking how awesome she looked and she was 9 months out from having her scoliosis surgery. And here I am, where she was, nearly!

I am happy to report that I am totally off of all the muscle relaxers and Ambien, and the only time I take prescription pain killers are the 2 days a week that I work. Other than that, I just take OTC Ibuprofen. Actually, today I worked and I took the Ibuprofen throughout the day, and I did ok. So its kinda a big deal to me to be off all the medicine. For so long, I was either in pain with no remedy, or taking pills with no relief. So to say now that I can get through a day with just 2 Ibuprofen is a very big deal to me.

The days that I work are just hard on me because of the constant bending over, and handling the kids. And really its the top of my back, like where my neckbone is that hurts, and its like the muscles are so tight and stressed and thats what hurts. My spinal area doesn't hurt nearly at all. Its either pain above or below the fusion, which I knew would take place. But the difference in this pain and the pain before, is that I can actually control this pain with medicine and maybe a heating pad and just a little rest. Before, NOTHING I did would take the hurting away. I could take 5 pain pills, lay on my heating pad alllllll day and still hurt like the dickens. (Wow, my grandma is the one who says 'hurts like the dickens', I must be getting old!)

My granddad, who is like totally the most important man to me, my Dad is more like it...he is in the hospital right now having had a knee replacement yesterday morning. I went to see him yesterday and tonight, and its so hard to see him like that. For all of my life, even up until the day before he went in to have this surgery, he has been an ACTIVE part of my life. Always doing something...and to see him laid up, and in pain, and can't move...it's really hard. He looks so frail and helpess, which doesn't fit his name, we call him Bigdad (not BigDaddy, he's not a pimp lol) He has had a rough time the last several years with his foot issues, his shoulder and his knees, and I just pray that this surgery will bring him some relief. I am thankful though that all the stuff wrong with him are mild to severe AILMENTS and not anything life threatening.

Well, I am off to bed...I am beat!! Adios.

Diapers are for babies!

I am soooo happy to report that my baby is now potty-trained! And practically overnight!

I kept trying to get her to potty, bought her some panties, got a potty chair, and a potty seat, and nothing would work! She'd watch "Potty With Elmo" over and over and nothing was sinking in. When I was gonna start working at Mothers Day Out, the director told me that she would move Lanie into the 3's (so she wouldn't be in my class) but she had to be potty-trained. Asked how I was coming along with that. And I just told her we were working on it. She told me that maybe once she see's the other kids using the restroom, she would be inspired! Well, some of the other kiddo's in my class were trotting to the potty a few times a day, and Lanie I guess saw them going on the itty-bitty toilet and she kept wanting to try. Lo and behold, she peed one day, and I jumped up and down, acting like an idiot, praising her...she was looking at me like I was a nutcase lol.

Its like as soon as she pottied and realized what she had done, with the help of her goofy mother, a light bulb went off over her head and she just GOT IT! Like, "Ohhh, so THAT'S what Mama's been talking about?!" Hahahaha. Every since then, she has told me when she needs to potty, even waking in the middle of the night to come and tell me, and she stays dry all the time! I just can't believe it. I gave the rest of my diapers to my cousin, and just bought some Pull-Ups for nighttime, and the rest of the time, she sports her little Elmo panties!

I am so glad not to have to buy diapers anymore, but then also, this means that all Lanie's babyness is gone. No more bottles, diapers, nothing. Of course, she'll always be my baby, but yeah...

Ok, well its 3:30 AM...I am going back to bed!

School Days!

Well school started here yesterday and it was Kaci's first day in second grade at a new school. She'd been going to private school but we decided to put her in public school, and we will see how it turns out! This school is the same one that I went to first grade in and it hasn't changed much since I went there, its weird...that it was uhhh 21 years ago that I was there! I am getting so old! Ughhh but I do have to complain about their system of picking up your kid! Of course, the first couple of weeks I was gonna walk her in, and walk her out and all that because its a new school. Well, apparently they want to keep as many parents out of the school as possible. They gave us a placard at registration with a number on it, that is specially assigned to your child. After school, all the kids gather in the gym...then you pull into their little circle drive, and the teachers are standing there with walkie-talkies and when they see your number they radio it into the teachers in the gym and then your kid is called and dismissed. Well of course, there are 1,847 cars in the circle drive so if you want to walk up to get your kid, you have to stand outside the front doors and hold your placard up so they can see, and wait for them to radio your kid out, like you are at an auction for cattle! And then (after seeing me parked in the handicap spot) they tell me that it would be blocked off from now on to control traffic. UGH! They assure me that its this crazy only because its the first week of school and people are getting used to their surroundings. We shall see...

Other than that, she is doing good and I think she got a good teacher...and of course, I think she is the cutest and best dressed in her class! Haha!

Then today, Lanie started Mothers Day Out...annnnnnnd I am the teacher in her class! Yes...Lanie is one of my little kids in my class...and she is supposed to be the other teachers responsibility, but Lanie doesn't get that. She wants to sit at my table, in my lap, she doesn't like the other kids hogging my attention that is so rightfully hers...lol. And I was all trying to get her to call me Ms. Staci..and that didn't work either, so she calls me Mama and some of the kids thought that was my actual name and they were calling me Mama too! Kinda funny! But Lanie did pretty good otherwise and I had a kind of a hard time with my back...there is A LOT of bending over when it comes to twelve two year olds! But I am hoping to get in the swing of things! Anyways, I am gonna sign off now...g'night!

Yay!! Summer's nearly done!!

I have to say yesterday was a good day. The reason it was a good day is because I got up to go to the doctor, went and took my two heathens to get allllll their 1,548,214 school supplies and allllll their school clothes, came home unloaded alllll that stuff, cleaned house, and helped Gary out in the yard...all PAIN FREE!!! That would have been out of the question a year ago...I would have ordered most Kaci's stuff online, and I was only cleaning house in 30-45 minute increments...so it was a total shock and relief when I did all that I did, and didn't bat an eye about the pain.

This morning, we did more yard work (or Gary did, should I say :] ) and I did all our laundry. We got the girls' pool blown back up and we watched them swim for a little bit. We called a fence company to come out and give us an estimate, and they are coming out Tuesday. I hope the money the insurance gave us is enough, because we are broke and can't pay anything extra! But I came up with an idea (and Gary loved it) about a different way to do the fence, rather than having it put up the same way it was..so I hope it works out.

I feel really stupid about griping a few days ago about what a bad day I was having, and then the very next morning getting the news of Dr. Shelokov's death. Life is full of ups and downs, but the loss of life is painful and unforgettable. A year from now, I won't remember my tire getting slashed and me being depressed and all that, but I will always remember the death of Dr. S. I am also very, VERY fortunate that Gary has kept his job in the oilfield when soooo many others were laid off. And people around the country, losing their jobs left and right, trying to hang on to everything they've got. I am so blessed, and my heart goes out to all the families struggling with job loss or major health issues.

I have to say too, that I get at least one email a day from someone who reads my blog and is suffering from scoliosis..or someone leaves comments for me, and it totally makes my day because people are reading it! I am also looking for a way to raise awareness in the public schools, with the scoliosis testing. They do the testing anyways, but I want to urge the parents of kids with possibly bad scoliosis to seek GOOD treatment to save them from the pain and anguish that I went through! My cousin Amanda (who got her Bachelors Degree and is now gonna be a teacher -- I am sooo proud of her) is going to see what I need to do, once she gets a job at a school.

Well, gonna sign off now...

Therefore, I take great pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, I AM STRONG.
-II Corinthians 12:10

Dr. Shelokov passes away

I am just beyond saddened by this news.

I received an email today from another patient of his, and she told me that he had passed away and then sent me a news article that reported the tragic news. Dr. Shelokov was my surgeon and he totally transformed my life and many others as well. He was a caring man, witty, and made you feel as if you were his only patient. I think about all the people he could have helped and it just makes me so sad, because he truly was one of the best out there. I think of all the people he has helped and what an impact he has made on their lives. Including mine.

He died of a heart attack. He was only 55. He leaves behind a wife and two young children.

I was originally supposed to have my surgery in September of this year. Next month. But I was in such bad shape that we moved the surgery up to January, and I thank God that Dr. S was the man with the hands that corrected my horrible curves. I think about Dr. Shelokov everyday, and now he will forever remain in my heart, as the man who took great care of me and gave me my life back.

I pray for his wife, children and family, his wonderful co-workers (Eric and Shaun) and for all the patients who were blessed enough to call him their doctor. I feel like I just lost a real close friend.

Dr. Shelokov will truly be missed.



MAN ON THE MOUNTAIN
Mountain biker dies of heart attack


By REILLY CAPPS
Writer
Published: Wednesday, August 5, 2009 5:19 AM CDT

A doctor who worked to set crooked spines straight died of an apparent heart attack while riding his mountain bike on Prospect Trail Monday afternoon.

Alexis Shelokov, 55, lived in Plano, Texas, most of the year, but had a house in Bachman Village. He was an orthopedic surgeon and the medical director of the Baylor Scoliosis Center in Plano.

Shelokov leaves behind his wife, Georgiana, who is a radiologist, and two children: a boy aged 13 and a girl aged 11, reported San Miguel County coroner Bob Dempsey.

Shelokov had already been to Telluride three times this summer, said his friend Ed Roufa, mostly to mountain bike, which he loved.

“It was a horrible accident,” said Roufa, “but he was doing what he loved to do.”

Ed Roufa was with Shelokov when he died. They had ridden the Prospect Trail almost to the bottom, and Shelokov was ecstatic.

“I can’t tell you the exclamations we were using as we were doing the downhill,” Roufa said. Then Shelokov suffered his attack.

EMTs arrived within minutes, Roufa said, but were unable to revive Shelokov.

Valley Lawn Funeral Home is handling the arrangements.

This is the third death on a bike in the area in less than a month. A visitor from Washington state died after a solo crash on Telluride Trail July 12, and local “Captain” Jack Carey died July 17 while road biking on Lizard Head Pass.

Shelokov grew up in Glenwood Springs, Roufa said, an avid skier and ice climber. He got his medical degree from the University of Texas Health Sciences Center in 1982. He had owned a home in Telluride for at least 12 years, Roufa said.

Shelokov straightened out the spines of adults and children with scoliosis, the malady of a crooked, S-shaped spinal column, and he received some raves from former patients on scoliosis.org and vitals.com, where doctors are rated.

“I love him,” wrote one woman.

Wrote another patient: “I have never met anyone so attentive, caring, compassionate and very professional and honest at the same time.”

In an interview on Ivanhoe.com, Shelokov talked about how patients with scoliosis would confide to him that they felt different, they felt deformed.

“There are times that I describe my practice as one of being a psychiatrist with a knife,” Shelokov said. “It’s an odd way to put it, but any time you’re doing a procedure that changes the way a person looks physically and the way they feel physically, you can’t do that effectively without dealing with the patient emotionally, dealing with them as a person rather than just a collection of bones.”

He said he was working to correct the misperception that there’s nothing to be done for adults with scoliosis. He told them: “You can be made straight.” A man who loved to ride his bike, Shelokov even helped a woman get on one. An online story from Baylor tells about a woman whose scoliosis got progressively worse as she grew older. Then, at age 31, she met with Shelokov, who told her there was help. After surgeons at Baylor fused five vertebrae in her lower back, she went out and bought a mountain bike. “And now that I’ve tried it,” she said, “I’ve fallen in love with the sport.”

It seems fitting that Shelokov would find a way to help other people get into the sport he loved.

"I've had better days..."

"In airports with rain delays,
Flat tires in traffic jams,
And anytime I've been damned,
I've had better days,
When the pain wouldn't go away,
And tears watering down my pride, yeah I've had better"

Thats the song that I listened to over and over today when I got off work. Ok so it wasn't the more horrible of days, but I am just down in the dumps anyways, so it seemed worse to me. I know other peoples problems pale in comparison to mine, but still...

I usually work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursdays from about 8-5:30ish. Well, school registration fell on August 4th and 5th (today and tomorrow) and I had to go. I asked my boss if I could possibly get off a little early so I could register Kaci for school. Instead my boss had me go register Kaci this morning, and then go ahead and come to her house no later than 9:30. I was grateful that she was able to work her schedule around so I could do this. Anyways, so I get up and go register her and I am done by 8:40. I get out to my car, and my back tire is flat...completely. Of course, Gary is at work...my dads phone went straight to voicemail...I had no one else to call other than my granddad. I didn't want to have to call him, he is 72 and is facing a knee replacement surgery and I didn't want him to have to get down there and mess with it. But I had no choice. He shows up, and he lets me take his car to work so that I wouldn't be late, and he finished up on mine and took the tire to be fixed while I was at work. After work, I was to go get my car from him and give his back.

Anyways, so the flat tire just dampened the whole day. Then I get off work and I am going to get my car. I tell my grandma that I can't stay long because I gotta go get my girls. Well she tells me to come in, that she has to tell me something and they didn't tell me sooner because they didn't want to upset me at work. So I am thinking, "OMG someone died" I sit down and she tells me that my tire wasn't just flat, but it was SLASHED. Had two knife punctures in it. I just started bawling...its bad enough that Gary is gone all the time and I am by myself and I get lonely and all that...but then I find out my car is vandalized! Now I am not sure where it happened, because when I left the house, the tire was fine. We live about a mile from the school, when I got out at the school, the tire was fine. It was after I registered Kaci that it was flat. If it had been done at home, wouldn't it have gone flat by the time I had gotten to the school? So some random person walking in the school parking lot decided my tire needed a hole in it? UGH!!!

To top it off, we had a recent storm and it blew my back fence down completely...and my backyard is totally exposed and we live on a corner lot, so everyone can see my backyard. And I sleep alone at night and then my backyard is all out in the open now and then my tire gets slashed. It didn't help that I didn't get a good nights sleep last night, because I heard every noise and I probably got about 4 hours of broken sleep total. So I was already worn out when I woke up this morning. I could go on and on, but I will just shut up already.

I am gonna go take some pain meds and lay on my heating pad and rest and read and go to sleep!! I am wiped out. I hope tomorrow is a better day.