Through thick and thin

Gary and I got into it pretty bad again the other day. Just the same old stuff that we keep fighting about over and over...just in different words and stuff. I hate it, but it is what it is. It seems that every since I decided to go through with this surgery, thinks have been more tense. I admit, that this ordeal that I am about to go through is NOT going to be a bowl of cherries for anyone directly involved with me. I hate it, but I have to do this, regardless.

Anyways, so these fights that we've been having have been the worse EVER. I mean, we have both been lashing out with destructive words and stuff...ugh...it just makes me sick to even think about it. And I don't really know WHY we are dealing with each other this way. Here we are, supposed to love each other more than anything in this entire world, and we talk to each other like we are dirt on each others shoes. And I must add that most of our fights are done out of earshot to the kids. Anyways, this last one that we got into, we both cried, like babies, after it was said and done, and we made up. But it was heartbreaking.

One thing that I am proud of is the fact that Gary and I have never, ever, split up. We have never gone our seperate ways for any length of time, and gotten back together. We love each other, and there is SOMETHING there that is binding us together, something that maybe we can't see right now. But we've never given up on each other. Nana says she is proud of me that I am not one to give up on the ones I love. I guess that is true, I never thought of it that way. I mean, isn't it my JOB to love him no matter how bad things get? Isn't that where the vows we repeated to each other comes in? We promised to love each other through bad and good, sickness and health, and through thick and thin. And in less than two weeks, we will celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary. And every year that passes is like a milestone...its SO easy these days for people to just throw in the towel in give up on their marriage. Gary and I basically grew up together, meaning that we met when were still kids, we didn't know anything. We were in love and barely knew that love was more than just holding hands. We have been hit with some really bad things in our marriage. Some we did to ourselves, some were out of our control. But the thing is that WE MADE IT.

My grandparents, they have been married for over 50 years now. And things weren't always peachy for them either. They even got divorced and remarried three times. But something kept bringing them back together, and they thank the Lord that it worked out for them. They created a lifetime full of memories with their kids, their kids gave them six wonderful grandchildren, and we in turn have given them four great-grandchildren. I want to be like that. I want our lives to be filled with memories, more than what we have made already...I want our kids to grow up and get married and have babies for us to play with. And the only way to get all of that is to make it through the hard times, and let the hard times build you up instead of tearing you down. I think Gary and I have that in us, because we have made it this far, and after my surgery, if we make it through that, we can make it through anything.

Ok, so NONE of the above has ANYTHING to do with my back. But oh well. I just wanted to get that out there...I do love Gary with all my heart, he is and will forever be a part of me. And I hope that we do make it together, til death do us part. <3 <3