So I changed my mind a little

After knowing that Meg's surgery went so well, I want to do mine sooner than expected. I am so tired of living like this, and want to do something QUICK. If I could, I would do the surgery right now..

So I e-mailed the doctor and asked them about this, if we can get the ball rolling any sooner. I am waiting to hear back from them :)

Meg

Another bright point in my life.

Shortly after I decided to look into this whole surgery thing, I was talking to my good friend Tricia, and she was telling me about talking to another Mom in our Mommy group thing. Tricia said that this other girl has scoliosis and was having surgery, and that I might want to get in touch with her. I called her that same night. :)

Well, it turns out that Meg was going to have surgery with Dr. Shelokov on May 21!! Now how odd is that? I mean, for so long, I was not going to do this, and then I decide to, and then I meet someone who lives close to me who is having surgery with the same doctor that I inquired about. It is more than a mere coincedence. It was God. Like He was giving me another sign that, yes, its ok to go with this. Or that is how I felt anyways.

So we became fast friends, with this one very serious issue that bonded us right away. She is my age, has two kids (both boys), has a husband in the oil field, who worked on the same ranch as Gary did, I mean, all these things we could talk about. But to actually meet someone who KNEW what it was like to be in my shoes was a very comforting thought. I just couldn't get over the fact that I had met her. All these years, she lived in Indiana, and I in Texas, and she moves down here and shortly after, we meet. She has eased a lot of my fears and I actually look to her for strength through all of this.


Its like I decide to do this and I am barely in square one. She is already close to the finish line, and she is my guiding light :) She tells me what to expect at the drs office, what hotels to stay in, how the hospital treats you and all of that. And for that, I am so thankful. It just makes me wonder why she didn't have someone sent into her life before she made the decision to have this operation done. Why didn't she have anyone to console her and let her know what to expect and all that? When I told my grandma about this, she said that some people are just meant to be leaders. I guess Meg is that person, because she is definitely leading me, and I know she will be there for me, as I will be for her.

We crack jokes about how we pop pills and all that. We have to have a sense of humor about all of this. We hate the fact that our only option to have a somewhat normal life is to have this MAJOR surgery. We know what its like to hurt all the time, and how even breathing is a job sometimes. I love her for all the insight she has given me and the hope that I can be as strong as she is.

She had her surgery on May 21, 2008. I cried when I got the e-mail from her husband saying that everything went very well, and that her back was STRAIGHT now!!! I can't believe it. I wish so bad that I could be there with her when she see's her new x-rays, and see's that she is no longer crooked. What a weight off of her shoulders that will be. I am getting teary eyed just thinking about it. Meg, I love you lots and I can't wait to hear from you!!

She and I used to say that we were the best crooked friends ever. Well, after this is all said and done, we will be Scar Buddies...and like she said, we will stand tall and show the world how strong we are for going through this. Not just the surgery alone. But all the years we spent in pain. All the psychological damage it has caused. All the tears we cried, just for doing normal things. Everything we've gone through, and the tears we've shed, will be all a memory when this is all said and done.

People Magazine caught my attention

I was flipping through a People magazine one day, and I came across an ad for the Baylor Scoliosis Center. Whoa! I didn't even know this place existed. It had a woman on there, and her before and after x-rays, after having the surgery to correct the scoliosis.

Let me just say that I was adamant that I was NOT going to ever have this surgery, I was just going to live with it and be in pain for the rest of my life. I had heard too many horror stories about the Harrington Rods and things like that. But seeing this ad, it was like a wake-up call, and I tore it out, and saved it, and every once in a while I would look at it. Thinking, "should I call??"

One day I finally called. The receptionist there was very helpful and answered all my questions, and they sent me a DVD on what their center does and what people they have helped. It had three patients give their personal testimonies. So I got the DVD in the mail. I told my husband, Gary, that I could NOT watch it alone. I am glad he watched it with me, because I cried the entire time. On this DVD, there were women, just like me, who talked about what it was like to be in excruciating pain ALL THE TIME. Things that people don't think should hurt, like, washing dishes, walking around the mall, taking care of your kids, anything like that. I mean, all these years that I have dealt with this, I *knew* there were other people who were inflicted with this, but to actually see them talk about it, was way overwhelming! So yeah, I cried like a baby.

So I was like, Ok, I am gonna look into this. The way that they talked on the DVD, it made me wish I could have the surgery at that very moment. That is how much it moved me. It was like a dark cloud above me had some sun shining through...like maybe there was a way out of this!!

I called the very next day, and said I want to come in and get my back fixed too, how soon can you see me. My appointment was scheduled for April 23, 2008 in Plano, Texas.

My husband and I went, we made a little vacation out of it, it was very nice and stuff. The morning of our appointment, I was so nervous. I felt like I did all those times that I had to go to Ft. Worth as a child. I really wanted my mother there with me, to reassure me that I was going to be ok. But it was just Gary and I.

I walk in, and it is by far, the nicest doctors office I had ever been in. I am not just talking about the appearance of it either, it was everything. The receptionist was welcoming, the nurse that helped me was funny and eased my nerves with her jokes and candor. So it comes time to weigh in and check my height. I am now 5'5"! Ok, that is all fine and dandy except for the fact that I used to be 5'7". So I knew right then before they even did the x-rays that the curves had gotten really bad. I won't say how much I weighed (haha).

We do the x-rays, and usually the only way I've done x-rays was to stand up and they take a picture and that is it. Not here. They had me stand up, stand sideways, lie on my back, and on my stomach. They took x-rays from every possible angle. We go back into the room, and the PA, Eric, comes in and we start the examination and he starts asking me questions and stuff. He then tells us to come in to this other room so we can view the x-rays. Seeing them always puts me in a gloomy mood. So yeah, I am all depressed now, and then he tells me that the curves were measuring 65 on top and 63 on bottom. Wow! I was not expecting that. So then I started to cry.

We go back in the room and we discuss our options. Which inevitably would be surgery. He told me that if I don't do something about this, the curves will progress, and my rib cage will continue to collapse in on itself. I told him, Yes, I want to do the surgery. I am tired of the pain and I do not want to rely on taking pain pills for the rest of my life. I am only 27! What kind of shape would I be at 40 years old, if I even made it that far, if I didn't do something.

Dr. Shelokov doesn't like to do surgery on patients who have kids younger than 2 1/2 due to having to pick the child up and stuff. So that put me at June 19, 2009. Then I thought, well I will do it in September, because by then, Kaci will be in school and it will make it easier on everyone.

So I go back in October for another follow up and we go from there.

I have to start a blog for this venture.

Yeah, so what that the surgery isn't going to happen until the fall of next year, I might as well blog about it now, what better stuff do I have to do?





First off, I must tell you a little about me. I am Staci, I am 27, I am married and I have two gorgeous daughters. I live in Texas, I stay at home with my kids, and I have an awesome family. I love to read, and listen to music, watch movies and I love to laugh...I guess you can say that I am pretty easy to entertain, as I will laugh at the drop of a hat. I am a Christian, but a very bad one. I don't live like I should and all that. I am so not worthy of God's love, but I know He still loves me, even when I turn my back on Him. I am working on that though.





The reason for this blog and the adventure that will be recorded about? I have scoliosis. Not just a little curve that causes a little discomfort. No, I have full blown, severe, scary looking scoliosis. My spine is the shape of an "S". Umm, anyone knows your spine is supposed to be straight up and down. Well, not mine! Mine is all messed up and contorted and just ugh. Yeah, its pretty bad. I have two curves, the top one measures 65 degrees, the bottom one measures 63 degrees.



I found out I had this *ahem* distortion when I was 13. I was mowing the yard, and my back was killing me. My dad offered to rub my back for me. That's when he noticed I had a hump on my right side. My parents were actually quite concerned, seeing this mass on my back, you know? They thought the worse. A tumor.



I went to the doctor the next day and they told us it was scoliosis and referred me to an orthopedist surgeon here in Odessa. They did x-rays and I still remember my stomach flip-flopping when I saw my spine. I mean, I know its supposed to be straight up and down, and here mine was looking that way. The surgeon was like, "Well, we don't handle severe cases here, we have to send you to Dallas to an expert in this area." So off we go to the Cook Ft. Worth Childrens Hospital, to see Dr. James Roach. My curves at that time, were measuring 34 degrees on top, 30 degrees on bottom. He felt that since I had already had my period for a year, that I would stop growing, therefore the curves wouldn't progress. Boy was he wrong?!

I have always had pain and discomfort, but it just kept getting a little worse as time wore on. In July of 2005, my aunt, who was a pharmacy tech, mentioned that maybe I could take pain pills to help me ease the pain. I was so ashamed to take pain pills because you know, people think that people who take pain pills are just taking them for the "high" that they give you. Especially someone like me, you can't "see" what is wrong with me, I "look" healthy, so why am *I* taking pills? Anyways, so I went and got on them. They helped tremendously and still do. I since then have been transferred to a pain management doctor, and the first words he said when he saw me was, "You are too young to be in here". So that didn't help my nervousness...that is until I explained my story and he saw my back and stuff, and he has been so helpful in controlling my pain. I take Lortab and Xanaflex, a muscle relaxer.

So here I am today...I have a wonderful husband and two gorgeous baby girls. Kaci is my clone I guess you can say, she will be 6 on June 14th, and Lanie will be 18 months old in June. They definitely keep me going, all day, everyday. My pain has progressively gotten worse, where there are some days that I feel like if I have to take one more step or do one more thing, that I will just collapse in pain. The pills help me somewhat get a good nights sleep and when I wake up, I am so stiff and I have to literally push myself up with my arms...No popping out of bed for this Mama :) But things are looking up for me, and I will get to that part....