I am so bad...

Yes I am still here and I re-read a lot of my posts from time to time, but I haven't posted like I should.

So many things have gone on since the surgery and WOW! I'd like to think that I am a much stronger person than I've ever been, but I would like to erase a lot of the last few years and have a DO-OVER!! But that doesn't happen in life so yeah...

I am just gonna put it all out there. My husband and I seperated, twice, in 2010. What a tremendously difficult time for me, my girls and Gary. I feel a lot of guilt over how crappy things got and what things were said and done. We reconciled and separating is not an option, ever agan. We are in a better place now, and stronger than ever.

I held so much resentment inside because of so many things that weren't even Gary's fault. My crooked spine, my chronic pain, my hearing loss, my low self esteem. I hated feeling like a freak, looking like one, crying because of the pain, and on and on. So my expectations of Gary were WAY high. I know that now, looking back. Granted, and he will admit, that he did a lot of wrong too. But we were never in sync with each other. Now I am happy to say that we are finally on the same page whereas before, we weren't even in the same book!

I went for my 2 year check up in March. Had a fun little trip to Plano, just Gary and I. My check-up went great, the fusion has totally healed, I am still properly screwed ;)I go back in 2012 (which is right around the corner now!) for my three year check-up. So all is well!

As for pain, well, I still have it. I knew going in that I was NOT going to be pain free after the surgery, ever. So I am not like surprised at all. I just write about it in case someone else feels the pain too! The pain I feel now is in my lower back, the discs that weren't fused. But luckily, this pain is MUCH more manageable. I can take regular OTC ibuprofen, rest a little, and I am good. I do have to be careful and not overdo things. Because that does make my back hurt, and at night when I am laying in bed, my entire spine just throbs. With each throbbing pulsing feeling, its like my back is saying, "Shouldn't have done this, that and the other!" Haha..So yeah. I still say today, that if I had to do it over again, I would. That's how happy I am that I did it.

Another positive point is that since I can't bend my spine, I can't paint my toenails, therefore, I have the perfect excuse to get my toes done at a nail salon! :)

I am about to start working again at Mothers Day Out with some incredible ladies and awesome kiddos! I am so excited about that.

Hmm..what else? Oh yes. We added to the family. A four legged baby we named Molly. We adopted her from the SPCA. She had been rescued from an animal hoarder, who had 20 other dogs in a little abandoned trailer. She is a blonde haired, Poodle/Cocker Spaniel mix...don't know what Gary was thinking getting another blonde haired girl ;) Anyways, we love her and she is a very good dog!
Life is going good because God is always good <3