It's one of those days today....

Where you just want to lay in bed and just chillax all day.

How come babies don't like to chillax? They would much rather be rambunctious and into everything under the sun, than to sit and chill on the bed and watch TV all day. So I thought I would write a little bit in my blog while she is swinging from the curtains =]

I have to say that things between Gary and I are going really well. Probably the best in years. He has been helping me with the girls, and doing things I ask of him without him staring at me like I just landed from outer space. I love him and all, but things had to change and I told him that. We've been trying really hard to be respectful towards each other. I don't know what is going to happen after surgery, but I pray that I am strong enough to deal with whatever crosses my path.

I am working on building my self esteem too. I know I am pretty now, but I am gonna be smokin' after I recover and have a NORMAL figure going!! It's like I was telling a friend of mine, for so long, I haven't had a backbone when it comes to things like my marriage and stuff, because my backbone was messed up!

This surgery and all the thoughts that go with it, the things that have crossed my mind, seriously have given me like a surge of courage to deal with stuff that I didn't think I could before. This is going to totally, 100%, change my life, and I am so excited. The more I talk to my scoli friends, the more I research the pros and cons of surgery, the better and more confident I feel.

I recently joined a scoliosis forum...people who are dealing with scoliosis themselves. Some have had the surgery, some are waiting for it. Some are trying non-surgical procedures. Anyways, I have already met some great people there. Suzy, who has basically taken me under her wing, she has been GREAT. 100% honest and forthcoming with me...even when she was afraid she might upset me, she still told me how she felt about certain things that I have told her. I appreciate that honesty, and I am glad to have met her. I also have started talking to Tricia, who lives in Odessa like me, and has had scoliosis surgery by Dr. Shelokov as well!! She has an awesome blog too here on Blogger.

Everday I still wonder if I should go through with this, and everyday that little bit of doubt is going away. By the people I talk to, the info I find, everything. I feel at peace with what I am about to do in a few months.

Anyways, I gotta go make something to eat for my kiddos! =]

Deuces!